Emotions can be either productive or destructive.

They affect our actions and inform our mentality, and for a lot of us, it can be very difficult to control how we react to them.

This lack of control can lead to all sorts of negative patterns of behaviour that can put a real drain on our energy.

That being said, learning how to exert control over your emotional space could be the key wellness strategy you need to restore all that lost energy.

So, in this article, I’m going to discuss how you can boost your energy and increase your vitality by learning to balance your emotions and change your state of mind.

 

How to Balance Emotions

According to the American Psychological Association, emotion is defined as “a complex reaction pattern, involving experiential, behavioral and physiological elements.” In other words, emotions are how we deal with issues or situations that are personally significant.

Let’s take a look at the basic definition:

e·mo·tion

/əˈmōSH(ə)n/

noun

a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.
“she was attempting to control her emotions”

• instinctive or intuitive feeling as distinguished from reasoning or knowledge.
  “responses have to be based on historical insight, not simply on emotion“

 

The key phrase here is “state of mind” because your state of mind is dependent on the emotions you’re feeling, and how you choose to react to those emotions can have a significant effect on your energy, vitality, and the patterns of behaviour you create.

Sadly, one of the patterns so many of us tend to fall into is the constant worrying and anxiety about what might happen in the future.

 

People love to worry about future events and obsess over every possible scenario that might play out and all the potential “what ifs” that could take place, such as:

• “What if I don’t lose enough weight to fit into that new dress I bought?”
• “What if I miss my kid’s performance in the school talent show because I have to work?”
• “What if I forget to pay my phone bill on time and then they cut my service?”

 

I’m sure most of you know exactly what I’m talking about. You’ve probably caught yourself worrying about this kind of stuff many times before.

But how does this trigger low energy?

Well, when you’re dealing with negative, repetitive mental dialogue, it’s like your mind is stuck on a hamster wheel, and this can quickly become a downward spiral.

You end up wasting all that mental energy worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet, and that can make you feel exhausted.

Fun fact: Your brain uses about 320 calories per day. And no, overthinking will not help you to lose weight!

 

Embracing The Positive

Now, let’s imagine what would happen if you spent as much time thinking about positive things in your life and embracing what is before you in the present moment as you did on all those “what ifs” that take up so much mental space and sap your energy.

Obviously, you’d increase your vitality because you wouldn’t have wasted all that energy. Also, you’d have a lot more room in your heart and soul for positive emotions that promote healthy thinking patterns and increase the production of feel-good endorphins.

Unfortunately for many of us, it seems tough to be positive, and we tend to be way too hard on ourselves without even realizing it.

But if you try to be mindful of these tendencies, then you can become aware of what you’re doing, stop negative thinking in its tracks, and choose to embrace the positive.

For instance, instead of telling yourself that you’re not trying hard enough, or what you’re doing isn’t good enough, you can decide to be more patient with yourself, believe you’re doing your best, and understand that your best is subject to change based on your present circumstances.

It reminds me of a quote from renowned philosopher and spiritual teacher, Jiddu Krishnamurti.

 

He talked a lot about how negative thought patterns will drain your energy, how they tend to come from a place of fear, and how that fear causes us to obsess over what should be instead of accepting what is.

“But to run away from fear is only to increase it,” he said.

“If the mind, in which is included the brain, tries to overcome fear, to suppress it, discipline it, control it, translate it into terms of something else, there is friction, there is conflict, and that conflict is a waste of energy.”

In other words, when you think negatively, choose not to accept what is, obsess over what might happen, or what you think should be, you’re rejecting positive emotions, and wasting vast amounts of energy in the process.

Therefore, it’s better to embrace the positive emotions as much as possible, and reject the negative ones as often as you can.

With that said, let’s talk a bit about how you can do that.

 

Rejecting The Negative

At this point, you’re probably wondering how you can make the conscious decision to embrace more of the positive, and reject more of the negative.

Well, one of the things you can do, which I already mentioned above, is to be as mindful of your thoughts and emotions as you can, which means you need to step back and observe the way you’re thinking and feeling.

This makes me think of a quote from Richard Utt’s Attitude with Essence, which says, “What I am feeling and how I feel about it is the essence of my experience, and as such is also the essence of both my development and my degeneration.”

In other words, when you’re more decisive about how you react to your thoughts and emotions, it can give you the power to choose development or degeneration. Believe it or not, you do have the option to embrace either positive or negative emotions.

And when you have this level of conscious awareness, you can really take control of your mood, and pull yourself out when you feel stuck in a negative rut.

One thing you can do, which is incredibly empowering, is to realize the power of your own free will and simply make the decision to change your state of mind.

Remember, you are not a puppet being pulled on strings. Your state of mind is something that you and only you have any influence over, and you have the power to change it in any way you see fit.

When you understand that you have this power, that your emotions are simply a part of your reactionary fight or flight survival system, and that it’s perfectly normal to have them, then you can become the master of your own emotions by utilizing emotional intelligence, and learning how to balance emotions.

By placing yourself in the driver’s seat and taking back authority over yourself, it’s so much easier to recognize when that little hamster is on a negative roll, and you’ve just got to stop.

This can allow you to bring greater balance to your emotions and avoid getting stuck in a negative rut by embracing more of the positive and rejecting more of the negative.

 

Techniques for Taking Control of Your Emotions

Before I continue, I want to make sure you’re not getting the wrong idea about what I’m saying.

When I say, “take control of your emotions”, what I’m referring to is taking control of how you react to your emotions, and whether you choose to embrace the positive ones or the negative ones.

Repressing your emotions, or trying not to feel them is typically not a good idea, and it can actually cause much bigger problems.

What I’m recommending is to learn how to control your reactions to emotions and how to choose which ones to embrace and which ones to reject.

I don’t recommend trying to suppress or ignore your emotions, so keep that in mind.

Now, when I want to change my thinking and take control of how I react to my emotions, I like to use positive affirmations.

This means saying things to yourself like:

• “I am so happy now that I am making healthy changes in my diet so I can feel great in that new dress I bought.”
• “I’m so grateful that I have this wonderful job and it allows me to provide for my beautiful family.”
• “I am so happy I have a phone that allows me to stay in touch with my loved ones.”

 

When you make use of this kind of optimistic thinking, you can really get on a positive roll, and experience how your energy gets a magnificent boost!

There’s also another method I use for this. There are three steps for this method, and you can use them in combination with positive affirmations, or try other tactics if you’d prefer.

1) Stop

Once you’ve realized you want to take control of how you react to your emotions, admit to yourself what you’re doing, stop, take a breath, and then take a minute to observe how you’re thinking and feeling.

 

2) Change Your Thoughts

Based on what you’ve learned in step one, you can decide how you’re going to change your thoughts, which emotions you want to embrace, and which ones you want to reject. Using positive affirmations can really help during this step, but just use whatever works for you.

 

3) Find a Positive

Take some time to consider the things that are positive in your life. No matter what you’re dealing with, there’s usually a way to turn a negative into a positive. If you feel like you can’t do that at the moment, then just think about all the things you’re grateful for.

Another way to help mitigate negative feelings and emotions is by using essential oils.

Some of the best oils to use when you’re feeling afraid and/or anxious include basil, cassia, cypress, lavender, and juniper.

 

If you want to learn more about essential oils, click here. And if you’re feeling like you could benefit from an attitude adjustment, feel free to contact me and sign up for my Attitude with Essence program. It can help you to resolve hidden stressors, and gain greater awareness of yourself and your emotions.